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10:06pm 03/11/2006

(1 picked flower | make a bouquet)

Change of plans ...   
06:15pm 27/06/2006
  Just for my local-ly sort of types who are confused by my away message.

I'm leaving for NY tonight because the weather's supposed to be increasingly terrible from midnight 'til about noon tomorrow. And due to a sort of inconvenience, I'm needing to drive down myself to go pick up Sean from the train station ... so instead of risking getting caught in torrential rain tomorrow morning on the way down, I'm going to go down this evening, when it's just crappy out and not super-crappy.

I'll have my cell on me, if you'd like.

(make a bouquet)

Employmet. Yay?   
09:44pm 02/06/2006
mood: content
I got a job. =) Went in for my interview this morning at 10 AM ... then I came home and was passing the time before I deemed it an appropriate hour to call the boyfriend. Went to get lunch at Wawa (was semi-craving turkey, lettuce, tomato, and a liiiiittle bit of onion, on a toasted hero with some vinegar, plus a cup of soup — you know, to dip and whatnot. I love their chicken noodle!), and I was going to call him after I finished eating, but by the time I came home (about 12:30-ish) (ew, there's a spider on the wall), and mom said that there was a message for me. It was the people. I called the woman, Linda, back, and she offered me a position. I was, of course, happy because I'd told her about the time that I needed off and everything, and she called me two hours after my interview when she said she'd probably get back to me in a few days because they were still interviewing candidates. So, she was like, "When can you come down to fill out the paperwork?" So I asked her when it would be good; she said that I could come tomorrow or this afternoon. So I told her I'd come down after lunch. I was there for an hour and a half (all of which I'm getting paid for, spectacularly enough), signing papers and government forms and liability what-nots, she gave me a tour and stuff. I got my name tag. I also get to wear an apron (if I want), which I think is kind of cute and will probably do so for a bit. I have a locker and stuff. They all seem very nice and it seems relatively laid back. $7 an hour ... and I have a decent amount of hours already. I start tomorrow. She says the weekends are busy, but that I'll learn a lot ... which is good. =)

So, I'm excited. I have a job, and I get the time off that I need. Excitement.

Yoga really makes you happy, by the way. On a fairly unrelated side-note. I talked to Sean for a little bit earlier (read, half-hour) and he and the crew were going out for karaoke and whatnot. And, le sigh, the pang of "I want to be there with them" came back to haunt me. I drank two cups of tea, and did yoga, and now I actually feel really good. I don't know why ... but ... I do. So yay. Hopefully he'll call again later. ... maybe.

Work tomorrow, work tomorrow, tra-la-la-la-la-la ....

Okay, I'm done. Urgh. I miss Roanoke. =\

(2 picked flowers | make a bouquet)

getting used to it   
05:19pm 01/06/2006
mood: okay
I'm getting used to being home, I guess. I almost cried for the first time in, like, forever today because I still haven't been able to find a job. Mom suggested working with Dad, which would earn me a lot of money, but also give me zero time to do anything else but work, possibly work-out, and sleep. But at least I'd be guaranteed my three weeks off that I need.

Sean's coming up on the 28th. He's taking the train to NY, where I will make him experience the heavenly delight that is New York pizza before waiting for Dad to get off of work to drive the two hours plus home to the Poconos. But at least I'll have him all to myself for an entire week. He's going to drive back down to Virginia with me when I have to go for Hollins Summer. Believe it or not, it was Mom's idea ...

I finally got a call back, though, from one of the several places I put in applications at. Pfaltzgraff, a kitchen-ware store from The Crossings (mildly famous outlet stores in the Poconos), called me this afternoon and I've got an interview tomorrow morning. So, hopefully, this should be good. The only thing that sucks is that I need three weeks off. In about three weeks. ... oh well. I will figure it out. No need to get stressed out about stuff that hasn't happened yet, right? I can always suck it up and work for Dad. ... urgh.

It's storming here. In a rather beautiful way. It's gray and bleak, but it's still light, and you can see the world as though it were covering itself up in a blanket and taking a nap while listening to the droplets of water run down the trees. Even the thunder sounds soothing, a far-off sort of rumbling that could just be considered background noise. A low bass that slides smoothly between the ribcage and the stomach and flows outward with ease. Not a lot of lightning, either. Just enough to remind us that God's always watching.

So, in spite of it all, it is a beautiful life, non?

(2 picked flowers | make a bouquet)

Hm ...   
05:40pm 25/05/2006
mood: okay
I don't know where this sort of an entry fits in. Everyone knows the internet isn't used for anything serious. But, I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Where I'd like to work or live. Watched Oprah today, it was Part II of her interview with Elie Wiesel, and she introduced two essay winners who witnessed the genocide in Rwanda. And I got to thinking about the Sudan.

I wonder if I'm going to end up with a non-profit organization. But spreading the word and trying to fix the world not band-aid it seems so daunting a task. I'm still considering the Peace Corp (law school, not so much anymore). Mom and Dad said 'No' to the Peace Corp. ... maybe Dr. Rubongoya will take me to Africa. I'm going to have to ask him if he doesn't mention anything.

:: sigh. :: What am I doing?

(make a bouquet)

04:30pm 23/05/2006
  i'm wasting time 'til supper wanting to unpack. i should be unpacking. but i'm not.

i'm wishing i was in virginia.

(make a bouquet)

from the 'noke to the 'noconos   
12:53pm 23/05/2006
mood: content
Ha ha ... gotta' love the pun.

Yes, so, I'm back home. My parents came down to Virginia to pick me up on Sunday. Sunday was also commencement, so I woke up early, got somewhat dressy (spiffy shoes and nice top - still managed to incorporate jeans) and went. Checked some residents out, got to go out to lunch with Alyssa, Mary, and Dr. Harvey, who's leaving Hollins to start teaching graduate sociology at Georgia State next year. She's one of Hollins's best, so of course she's leaving! Apparently a couple of other good professors are leaving as well. Sad, sad semester.

The fact that I'm not going back to Hollins for an entire semester is very odd. Sure, I'll still be enrolled at Hollins, but I'll be in London for three months. This is incredibly exciting and incredibly daunting at the same time.

I started seeing someone a few weeks back. His name is Sean and, if you seriously want all the details (or, well, most of them), then check MySpace ... there're too many darn internet thingies to repost and crosspost everything everywhere. We've been dating for about three weeks and are going to attempt "toughing out" the long-distance thing. At least I'll be in Virginia for two solid weeks in July ... plus there'll be other visits, I'm sure. Mom and Dad say that I can take the car to Virginia, so this is a good thing. At least I'll have transportation for the time I'll have during Hollins Summer that's free. His best friend, Paul/Charlie is getting married today (to Jess). They'll all be there together having fun. It sucks that I had to leave a day earlier. Oh well, I told Sean I'd call later to sort of say Hi and Congratulations and all that jazz. This whole relationship idea is interesting. It's a first-experience sort of thing for me ... always watching my step, making sure I don't do something wrong. Even though there isn't really anything "wrong" ... everyone's different and therefore most relationships are different. But, yeah ... ya'll know my paranoia by now.

The thought of unpacking's a bit daunting ... all these boxes and crap are just piled in my room. Oh well, I'll do it eventually. I'm also anxious to get a job. I can't wait to start getting busy, earning money, walking around, that sort of thing. Makes me feel independent and free and all that jazz.

Though it's great to be home ... I miss Roanoke and Hollins and, well, everyone there.

Laughter and love,
~ meghan

(1 picked flower | make a bouquet)

la vita bella   
10:08pm 18/04/2006

update later.

(make a bouquet)

All the cool kids have GMail ...   
02:39pm 14/04/2006
mood: determined
Okay, this is getting to be incredibly ridiculous ...


I can completely understand why Chad would do this ... their government's first concern is their own people; but I really wish they wouldn't send the refugees back ... It's getting harder and harder to try and help them. The Central African Republic has also cut off diplomatic ties with Sudan, and has also closed its borders. I'm thinking that this also means that no more refugees will be allowed into those countries. Aid workers are having a very difficult time getting their permits, etc., renewed in order to be able to continue working in the area. If that happens, the international community is going to have to do something. Closing your borders isn't enough, there needs to be more done. You can't ignore the fact that thousands upon thousands of people are being brutally raped, tortured, and murdered in your backyard.

For those of you who are unaware, which isn't a bad thing, considering that our media doesn't much cover African affairs unless we're 'saving' some 'poor saps' from a dastardly fate that they've 'imposed upon themselves' ... but there's basically a genocide/civil war going on in Sudan, Africa; this genocide is particularly concentrated in the Western Sudan, in an area called Darfur. Here's more information, taken from OperationSudan.org:

"The Conflict in Sudan:

Darfur is inhabited by two distinct groups: Non-Arab black peoples— such as the Fur, Masalit, and Zaghawa— and Arab tribes collectively known as the Baggara. Both groups are Muslim; however, relations between the two groups have grown increasingly tense in the past few decades. Because the Fur and Masalit are primarily sedentary farmers, and the Arabs are nomadic herdsmen, their conflicting vocations have caused extreme quarrels over access to land and water resources. However, the conflict far surpasses a vocational clash, or even a clash between Muslims; the Muslim North and Christian South territories have experienced extreme tension for decades, adding to the complexity of the overall crisis. When Islamic Law was declared in 1983, the two regions came to a head as the Christians grew infuriated with the imposed decree, resulting in the Second Sudanese Civil War. Consequently, it’s safe to label the crisis as both a religious and economical conflict.

In terms of Sudan itself, the country has maintained a strong Arab character since the nation's independence in 1956, and has been a military dictatorship since 1958. The First Sudanese Civil War, between the Muslim government and non-Muslim population of Southern Sudan, came to an end after seventeen years of conflict in 1972 with the Addis Ababa Accords. Peace did not last for long, as the Second Civil War broke out eleven years later, as described above. A ceasefire was declared in 2002, and peace conferences the following year produced an agreement under which state revenues (oil money, primarily) would be shared between the government and the southern rebels.

However, the agreement did not appease the Darfur campaigners' demands for a fairer deal for the region's population. Two local rebel groups— the Justice and Equality Movement (Known as "JEM", which is generally associated with the Zaghawa of the northern half of Darfur) and the Sudanese Liberation Army ("SLA", which is associated with the Fur and Masalit)— accused the government of oppressing non-Arabs while favoring the Arab community.

In short, tensions between the Non-Arab black peoples and the Arab tribes have been on the rise for decades, along with tensions between the North and South. However when the JEM and SLA groups claimed the government was demonstrating favoritism towards the non-Arabs and prejudice towards the Arabs, anxiety and pressure escalated to insurmountable heights.

The final nail in the coffin occurred after the Non-Arab community felt their accusations and efforts to end the prejudice had gone unnoticed. So, the JEM and SLA rebels attacked government forces and installations in early 2003, but the Sudanese government was caught by surprise and didn't have many troops in the region to help. So, in response, the government mounted a campaign of aerial bombardment supported by ground attacks from an Arab militia known as the Janjaweed. The Janjaweed was recruited from local tribes and armed by the government; however, it should be noted that President Omar Hassen has repeatedly denied any connection, despite indisputable evidence that there is one.

While the conflict certainly carried a political basis, it further evolved into an ethnic clash. Civilians were deliberately targeted based on their ethnicity, which factored into the economic dimension related to the competition between the Arab pastoralists and Non-Arab farmers over land and water.

Since obtaining firearms and other weapons, the Janjaweed has continued to slaughter millions of innocent non-Arabs. With the support of the Sudanese government, they are not being viewed or tried as criminals and have gained free reign over the Darfur region. Numerous ceasefire agreements have been written, signed, and broken. The United Nations and United States have sent several representatives to try and appease the situation, but Omar Hassen has stated, "The international concern over Darfur is actually a targeting of the Islamic state in Sudan,” also warning Britain and the United States not to interfere in the internal affairs of their country, saying it will reject any and all military aid.

On December 25th, 2005, Condoleezza Rice requested to restore $50 million in aid to the African Union, but Congress denied this, leaving the U.S. largely isolated from possible influence in the conflict.

Countless innocents, both Arabs and non-Arabs as well as Muslims and Christians, are still killed each day.

Some more facts:

-According to the most recent figures available (from the 1998 census), less than 800,000 of Sudan's 34.5 million people are 65 or over, while 15.5 million are 14 or younger.

-Some 95,000 Sudanese children under the age of five died last year as a result of preventable diseases in southern Sudan.

-A girl born in southern Sudan has a better chance of dying during pregnancy or childbirth than of completing primary school.

-The Sudan Crisis "is the most dramatic race against the clock anywhere in the world at the moment." - United Nations

-Sudan is suffering from the world's longest running civil war.

-The genocide in Sudan has produced the highest civilian death toll since World War II, and equaling more dead than Kosovo, Bosnia and Rwanda combined.

-The Sudanese government – a military regime in the north – is indiscriminately and incessantly bombing innocent civilian targets such as schools, hospitals, churches, and humanitarian relief sites in central and southern Sudan.

-The Sudanese government also withholds international food aid from civilians in need to force non-Muslims to convert to Islam.

-Amnesty International claims that an average of 80% of the genocide's "casualties" have been women and children.

-The Sudanese government tolerates slavery – militia forces have enslaved thousands of women and children from central and southern Sudan.

-Reportedly, the refugee count in Darfur has reached 11.2 million.

-The World Food Program estimated that 3 million Sudanese civilians were at risk of starvation in 2003 alone.

-Over 2 million have died as a result of the war/genocide as of 2004; this does not include the deaths due to disease and starvation from uninhabitable conditions.

-In 2000, Amnesty International documented more than 250 bombings of civilian or humanitarian targets in a single month.

-It is estimated that up to 200,000 people are currently enslaved by the Janjaweed; this includes women and children."

As a member of both African History and African Politics classes, perhaps I'm closer to the idea of how devastating this is. But it can't continue to be ignored. Conflicts like these leave devastating effects on the country, the people, and the world. There is no reason why we don't know about this. This isn't about religion or race, it's about being human.

Please be sure to visit www.operationsudan.org ; there's a very handy slideshow to inform yourself and others about what's going on. The webmistresses make everything very easy to understand. I ask that you donate, if you can, write to your representatives and demand something be done, or even, please, just spread the word. Show people that this is happening. Sometimes we get too caught up in getting to class on time and making sure that we don't miss supper that we forget that there's a larger world out there. There's a bigger picture that we're all a part of, regardless of all those boxes we're constantly being put into. We're so often caught up in things that we thing are beyond our reach — THEY'RE NOT. We often make them that way. We can fix this ... we really can.

I didn't cut this, because I want it to be in everyone's face.

Please at least take some time to review the information and share it.

Laughter and love,
meghan k. grey

(make a bouquet)

O ... M ... G ... (letters to be pronounced as such, letters ... no un-abbreviating here!)   
11:25pm 13/04/2006
mood: mellow
Okay, so, you know how I've never watched poetry being performed before? Unless you count that one 'Melt da' Mic' ... which I don't ... because it wasn't a true labeled and created poetry performance. Well, that has changed. It was so beautiful. Tabitha (mixnmetalnwordz), a former resident of mine and beautiful poet, pretty much put together this whole night. There were several student performers, including herself; Rachael, one of my other Residents, opened with one of her own songs ... her, Isis, Janna, and I then led some comic relief by harmonizing a rendition of 'Ebony and Ivory'. Very hilarious ....

Anyway, she invited two professional slam poets to perform, who were AMAZING. Mekkah (g_buttafly) and Granma Dave (granmadave) ... they were so friendly, such incredibly beautiful people, and amazingly talented. It was such a blast. I manned the merch. table, and Dave tried to offer me merch. for helping out and I refused, and then I got a hug from both him and Mekkah ... and Mekkah sneakily slipped a CD to my friend to give to me when she left because I wouldn't have taken it otherwise. Sneaky! Very sneaky!

I hope both of them got home safely ... and Dave, I hope you passed your calculus test!

Life feels very wonderful right now ... that was just some true soul food.

To top that off, the vending machine is on the fritz. It's giving out free snacks like crazy. Mwahahaha. I don't feel the least bit bad for the damned thing. It's been not working properly and stealing money from everyone all semester. Serves it right!

Gotta' love it. Gotta' love life.

Makes me want to write poetry again. ;) Though it certainly would not come out nearly as intelligent or profound. I had a proud mommy moment again. I swear, my residents are going to kill me by the end of the year. ... what the heck am I going to be like when I have my own children? Oh boy ....

I did have a dream that I had a baby last night ...

So weepy this week ...

laughter and love,
~ meg

(make a bouquet)

Too much stuff ...   
01:06am 13/04/2006
mood: giggly
Wowzers, lots and lots going on. Lots going on indeed. But it'll all eventually work out well ... I hope. I'm not going to pull the "omgi'mgoingtofailandihavesomuchtodoteehee," because it's my responsibility ... it'll be done, and all that jazz. Annnnyway.

A Walk to Remember is on ... haven't seen this since I watched it with Kimberly in her room. So interesting. I actually think I had a pretense for writing this ... but I can't quite remember what it was ... so methinks this might be it.

... who knew a fake tatoo could be so ... sensual? ;)

laughter and love,
~ m.

(make a bouquet)

Keepin' it real ...   
07:05pm 02/04/2006
mood: determined
Gotta' love those times when you take a step back, look at yourself, and go, "What the HECK are you thinking?" Gotta' keep it real, gotta' keep it real ...

I got to write for the first time in a really long time yesterday. I played Cake Mania for about three hours ... but when the first trial ran out, I began adding more to one of my stories that I've been working on for the better part of four years. Fiction. Fantasy. Lots of planning out. That is, nothing of particular consequence.

"Write what you know, Jo."

Lying on Front Quad, enjoying the beautiful weather. It felt extremely unproductive to be doing homework and the like; holed up in my room or the library. Something strange did happen yesterday. Or not strange so much as ... indescribable. I was talking to Kate, trying to cheer her up a bit and be there at least, and I told her to come over so that we could go walk Erica's dog (which I said I'd do around 8), thinking that the puppy would cheer her up. So I'm sitting in my room ... the lights are off, I'm at my desk. Now, my desk faces my window, which is wide-open, the shades are drawn down to about top of the bottom of the window, open so that the last lingering rays of sun can slip through the cracks. I love that time of day. Sitting there as the room darkens and the world slowly dims like a candle about to go out. I'm waiting for Kate. Just waiting ... watching the window.

She comes in, and throws on the lights. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?" she asks, incredulous almost, as though the thought of me sitting there with the lights off was utterly ridiculous. I laughed, a bit, grabbed my keys, and led the way to the apartment.

I didn't need to explain, because I know that it would sound crazy aloud. Sometimes there are some things that you just keep to yourself. Sometimes people don't need to know everything about you. You must keep some secrets. And I realized how utterly romantic those moments can be. And now, sitting in the library where I am ... I'm facing the gigantic picture window that opens up the grassy hill that leads up the loop. And the sun is slowly slipping up that hill as it sets. People are still walking past, enjoying the weather, catching up on their me-time, talking with friends. But the library is growing dimmer, the hill is growing dimmer, and the sky is that dusty shade of blue it gets when the color seems to be getting drawn out of it. The only thing is ... the library will still be light when the sun goes down. It's not the same, doesn't have the same effect. But while sitting here in limbo, when it's not dark enough outside for the library lights to be blaring and superficial, I can pretend that it's my moment on a larger scale.

We get so concerned with what other people think and who we want ourselves to be. Who we want to be perceived as. That we forget to keep it real. There really are things that just aren't as important.

But hey, I'm just a crazy college sophomore. What do I know?

~ m.

Homecoming (Walter's Song)
Vienna Teng

it's desert ice outside but this diner has thawed my ears
hot coffee in a clean white mug and a smile when the waitress hears
that I was born in North Carolina
not an hour from her home town
and we used to play the same pizza parlor pinball

and there's a glance in time suspended as I wonder how it is
we've been swept up just by circumstance to where the coyote lives
where my days are strips of highway
and she's wiping tables down
holding on and still waiting for that windfall

but I've come home
even though I've never had so far to go
I've come home

I pay the check and leave the change from a crumpled ten-dollar bill
head across the street where VACANCY is burning in neon still
well the night eats up my body heat
and there's no sign of another
and I find myself slipping down into that black

but things are good I've got a lot of followers of my faith
I've got a whole congregation living in my head these days
and I'm preaching from the pulpit
to cries of “Amen brother”
closing my eyes to feel the warmth come back

and I've come home
even though I swear I've never been so alone
I've come home

I just want to be living as I'm dying
just like everybody here
just want to know my little flicker of time is worthwhile
and I don't know where I'm driving to
but I know I'm getting old
and there's a blessing in every moment every mile

thin white terry bars of soap and a couple little plastic cups
old Gideons Bible in the nightstand drawer saying “Go on open up”
well I'll kneel down on the carpet here
though I never was sure of God
think tonight I'll give Him the benefit of the doubt

I switch off the lights and imagine that waitress outlined in the bed
her hair falling all around me
I smile and shake my head
well we all write our own endings
and we all have our own scars
but tonight I think I see what it's all about

because I've come home
I've come home


(1 picked flower | make a bouquet)

Hm ...   
03:23am 25/03/2006
mood: restless
Odd question: do you all, when you think of yourselves in reference to another, place on a plane or some sort of continuum where they rank in comparison to you? Like, thinking that someone is above you (I don't quite want to use that phrase, but for lack of a better term ...), or that you are perhaps slightly above someone else. And then you act accordingly. Like, for someone who you may think is higher on the continuum, you tend to feel, perhaps, meeker, or as though you are to cater at least somewhat to their whims to earn some form of validation from them; which is ultimately good considering they're higher on the continuum. But dude, what happens when you feel like that, but they feel like that about you? Do things get mixed up? Is the universe thrown out of balance? (Ah haha, melodrama.) I'm just curious ... it's weird.

Dear Iraq,

Stop fighting yourselves. Sunni, Shi'a, or Kurd, you're still Iraqi. As presumptuous as we seem, America will not fix your problems. This is because America can't. We may have destroyed your towns, cities, government, and society, and while we may be appearing to set you up for the future, we can't do that. We don't have the capacity to do so, because we are not Iraqi. This is where you need to stop fighting each other, cooperate, give us the middle finger, and make a success out of yourself that America could not. A loss of a son, daughter, or Imam to Sunnis is the same as the loss of a son, daughter or Imam to Shi'ites. You're only hurting yourselves by fighting and killing each other. And while you're wreaking havoc on the reputation of the White House, we don't have to live there in the end.

Come on ... you can do this. You just have to try.


I think I'm done.

~ m. <3

(make a bouquet)

. no one mourns the wicked .   
07:47pm 20/03/2006
mood: weird
Quite into Wicked right now ... though I haven't seen it. I really like the soundtrack, lol. I'm definitely on Spring Break right now ... chilling around the house. I went out the other night ... Saturday ... which was really nice. It was the least awkward Jona and I have been with each other, and it was a really great time (with Debi and Sara, too). No more calls yet, I'm hoping one will come tonight or else I'm going to go into another of my slumps, which basically occurred all day today, while I did nothing. I know that this is Spring Break and that ... you basically just do nothing (though work on some school stuff half-heartedly and not really). But I feel like I ought to be doing something. Making a quilt, knitting a blanket. Making baby photo albums for Aunt Colleen and K'lee ... making my denim skirt out of my old jeans. Reading up on the Slave Trade, Algeria, and African Politics. Starting a Non-Profit Organization for African Awareness ... updating the choir website. Cooking something. Baking something. Driving around somewhere with a destination. Shopping. Having money. Something. I calmed down from this weird drive earlier and chilled out, watched Food Network, fell asleep. But now it's back. Arrrgghhh!!

But, good news: Dad just called, my baby is fixxxeeddd! My car! :: cries. :: I love that thing a little too much! It's apparently all nice and clean and everything, too. I'ma take my "Raspberry Vanilla Cream" room spray and make sure it smells all nice, too. Excitement indeed. Now I feel freer. Because mum's been letting my drive the Explorer, which is all nice and great, but it eats gas like crazy and I don't have the money to keep putting it in there. But now I can just drive my car all around and around.

Something that I've been realizing in Sociology lately is that in reform movements, etc., people seem really resistant against something unless it's "All or Nothing." They won't take small steps in getting what they can while they can, but rather would want everything all at once. Does anyone else think that this is counter-productive? Or do most feel that it's a violation/betrayal of the cause to concede some in order to gain? I often wonder whether we've forgotten compromise. I really think it's something that's been put on the back burner for many. Just dealing with half the roommate issues that I've had to ... it's really insane to see the need for instant gratification, the lack of looking at something at all angles, the lack of willing to compromise and concede a little for the greater good.

I'm becoming bitter. =\ I agree with Emily, this year is just incredibly funky. I see these girls that have traits that remind me of myself. Some of the traits that I possess now and want to change, or just traits that I've had in the past and it pains me (or usually just irritates me) to see it in someone else and know how people will see them or treat them. Or something. I don't know how to explain it. I just want to shake several people, not just the ones with the traits, and tell them to grow up. But why do they have to grow up? I mean, that's the point of life, to keep growing, and it's not like we're all the same. We all do so and realize things at different paces. It's just really incredibly hard to be okay with everything. I don't know. I need like a week alone. Completely and utterly alone to begin to miss human life or something. It be's craziness. I dunno.

This just in: Phone call received. Meg be's going out tonight. Holler.

Anyway, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Any suggestions?

~ meg <3

(3 picked flowers | make a bouquet)

03:17pm 11/03/2006
mood: melancholy
Happy on the outside ... not so much on the inside ... but why?Collapse )

(make a bouquet)

10:13pm 04/02/2006
mood: groggy
Because I'm bored. And I should be doing homework. But I have a headache, so I'm using that as an excuse to not be doing homework. So I'm doing quizzes instead, and will wish tomorrow I'd done homework.

i solemnly swear that i am up to no good . . .Collapse )

(make a bouquet)

11:18pm 20/01/2006
mood: content
Ireland was wonderful, and I have 8 disposable cameras worth of evidence. Hopefully many pictures came out, because there were a fair amount taken through the bus window; and, unfortunately, my disposables didn't come with the option to turn the flash off (so I spent many a minute squishing my fingers over the flash to hopefully nullify the effect).

Anyway, Dubliners are not quite all that nice. Rather quiet, keep to themselves, and walk terribly fast. Try not to get stuck talking to a sort of creepy old man from an antique shop in Kilkenny when he tries to tell you everything he knows about everyone in the city (even that there "are some Greys over that way"). Do kick out any Kate Flemings from your room before midnight so as to not distract from your precious few moments of sleep so that when you walk around Killarney, the misty weather doesn't bother you too badly. Do drink lots of water when you wish to drink too much alcohol. And when singing in a pub in Bunratty, make sure to take it with a grain of salt and laugh off the squishedness and awkward standing positions. But do enjoy the applause when the locals truly appreciate Danny Boy.

I've written up only a day or so of my travels. I don't know why I haven't just finished the rest. I think I'm waiting for the money to develop all of those cameras, lol. Anyway, hopefully I'll post something huge (don't worry, I'll use a cut, ffftt). And possibly include pictures.

Ireland's beautiful. And there are lots, and lots, of sheep.

laughter and love,
~ meg

p.s. - Ruth L., the tour blogger, has posted some interesting and highly amusing accounts of our tour; you can find her posts in the hollins community under the alias pink_orient.

(make a bouquet)

New Year's Resolution(s)   
05:59pm 30/12/2005
mood: okay
Might as well be a copycat, eh? ;)

1. Improve and look after my financial status. Keep at least $100 in my account at one time and be able to exercise a) self control, b) awareness, and c) diligence in keeping up my account books.
2. Hit the gym. It's Spring time again! The birthday present that's been a few years in the making.
3. Improve myself based on last semester's soul searching inner dialogues, strange feelings, anxieties, and intellectual conversations.
4. Write more. Complete O & N. Submit for publishing somewhere ...
5. Work out Summer employment options.
6. Work out finances for Fall semester.

:: scratches head. :: This sounds so much like a To-Do list ... xD

~ meg

(make a bouquet)

Old School vs. New School: More Than Just Music and Clothes   
05:20pm 30/12/2005
mood: contemplative
I've become increasingly aware of the idea that there are two kinds of people in this world: old schoolers and new schoolersCollapse )

(4 picked flowers | make a bouquet)

P.S. - ...   
10:42pm 28/12/2005
mood: curious
And the whole reason I mentioned the spiral bound legal pad is because that was what I wrote most of the notes and most of the body to a short story I finally got to write last semester. I don't quite know what to do with it anymore. I wanted to finish it and submit it to the Cargoes contest, but it's way more than 7,000 words, which is depressing.

Here's the thing: I originally had it all outlined to end at a certain part. And I did, that's all finished. But then while in workshop, I got a couple more ideas and switched the ending a bit ... which allows me to write more for one of the characters, which I then started to do. ... but when I look back at it, I feel like adding more and finishing this one character's story is going to detract from the original tale. ... so I'm wondering if I should separate the two. Keep the first part as an independent short story and the second, perhaps, as a sequel, but not necessarily something that's essential to the first tale.

And then, if I do that, do I keep the original ending I had, or do I keep the new one?

All right, enough with that rant. Anyone ever have a problem like this before?

~ m.

(make a bouquet)